Expectations

One of the real challenges as a stroke survivor is dealing with expectations. For me that is how much recovery do I expect to achieve and what does that look like. The problem is that you can't get verification from any medical practitioners because they tell you it is so related to each individual. What I end up with then is my own. But how realistic are they? My track record on realistic expectations has not been great. Afterall I told my boss I would be back to work 3 months post stroke. That was 23 months ago. I had no idea that I had made an impossible committment. However, I guess the important point is how do you deal with the results rather than the goals you set for yourself.

It is hard for me not to measure my worth by the extent of my recovery. I guess in some ways I still grieve for some of the things I have lost because those things so much made up who I was. So how do I set realistic goals to shape who I am to become?

I have registered to participate in the NS Spring Triathlon on May 18. Is this realistic or am I trying to recover some of my pre-stroke activities to prove my worth? My swim will be very slow and I will need to have the race modified in order for me to participate. It will take about 3 hours for me to finish if I do all three events. After my swim on wednesday my goal to complete the whole triathlon seems a bit lofty. However, after some contemplation my thoughts are now to line up a teammate to do the swim if I'm not ready in a month. In that way I can still participate. Afterall no one else expects me to be able to do a triathlon, it is only my own expectations realistic or otherwise.