Tuesday, December 7, 2010

I cannot Recover I can Rehabilitate

I had an interesting epiphany today. I came to the realization that I will never be the same as I used to be. I finished a workout of run/walking 9x200 meters and found that my running is still very jerky.

I originally convinced myself that I would fully recover and return to what I used to be able to do. That is what kept me going and gave me focus. I now know that is very unlikely to happen. Earlier in my travels down this road this thought would have been very depressing. This is not to say that I will not run again because I am. However, I will never have the same running style because the muscle motor patterns I have learned are different. The way I move my left leg is different.

What is important to me is that I can still do many things although they are different than they used to be. What I may need to do is find a coach or trainer that can help me improve my performance with the technique that I have developed. Recovering from a stroke I think is a misnomer. I am not going to recover to what I used to be, I am rehabilitating myself physically and cognitively to continue my life to the best of my ability.