I had an interesting epiphany today.  I came to the realization that I will never be the same as I used to be.  I finished a workout of run/walking 9x200 meters and found that my running is still very jerky.  
I originally convinced myself that I would fully recover and return to what I used to be able to do.  That is what kept me going and gave me focus.  I now know that is very unlikely to happen.  Earlier in my travels down this road this thought would have been very depressing.  This is not to say that I will not run again because I am.  However, I will never have the same running style because the muscle motor patterns I have learned are different.  The way I move my left leg is different.
What is important to me is that I can still do many things although they are different than they used to be.  What I may need to do is find a coach or trainer that can help me improve my performance with the technique that I have developed.  Recovering from a stroke I think is a misnomer.  I am not going to recover to what I used to be, I am rehabilitating myself physically and cognitively to continue my life to the best of my ability.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
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Doug, a very discerning post. I haven't quite gotten there myself.
ReplyDeleteDean